I used to think I had to solution to overcome limiting beliefs. What I am finding as I continue on this self growth journey is that you will never overcome them. Jeesh, how motivational…right? They will always come back up. True to my story they seem to come up at the most opportune times…usually right before I am about to level up. You know the exact moment you need them the least.
This is what I know now having weathered the storm of recognizing my own limiting beliefs, healing and writing a new narrative around them, they grow and evolve as you do. They may change slightly and you may get new ones but at the core you will always find those OG limiting beliefs. Somehow they always find a new way to show up and stop you. So what do we do? How do we find a new place with our limiting beliefs?
After two years researching and learning as much as I could about how someone dreams. I find limiting beliefs to be one of the biggest hurdles. They are closely related to narratives you tell yourself about who you are. Since you will never outrun them here is what you can do to start to work towards a better place managing their existence.
Five Steps to Start Owning Your Limiting Beliefs
Explore the Origin Source – Trace your steps all the way back to the place your limiting belief originated.
Write a New Narrative – Now that we established we don’t want to believe that limit we can write what we would like to believe instead and start the work to shift that belief.
Develop Habits for Proof – Tricking you mind with quotes only works for so long. Eventually your mind will require proof of the shift. So start the work developing the proof through good habits that support your new narrative writing.
Pay Attention to Triggering Activities – They aren’t going away so start paying attention to what triggers your limiting beliefs. Write down when, where, how you felt, and what took you over the edge. Paying attention to the activity will start to show you a pattern.
Develop a Game Plan – Once you understand your triggers work on how you will rescue yourself when they come up. What works for you is unique but you can start testing what works as you uncover your triggers and explore solutions.
My life growing up in small-town Iowa was as basic as it gets. I got used to hearing these stories about the one person from my tiny town who made it big (you have one too). I wanted that life. The big one. The one that did not happen in small towns. So early on I dreamt as wild and as big as I could. The thought that big was possible for someone like me was slim to none, considering my middle-class non-college-educated parents. This ceiling was made known to me disgustingly early in my life. So I dreamt big but safe. The one thing no one could deny was my height so maybe I wasn’t smart but maybe I could trick the system. I decided I was going to make it big and be a D-1 athlete certainly that would lead to something. It didn’t happen and eventually, I accepted my reality. The one-shot I had was over, so I did what good Iowa girls do when they don’t make it big. Give up, move home, make babies, and live a life that is fine. I tried hard to suck it up and accept the only dreams left for me were helping my children live theirs, but it wasn’t enough. I started healing from the fact that I gave up at eighteen. Once I traced and told that story every story became easier and uncovered beliefs about myself that had held me back long before giving up. It wasn’t that Iowa, my parents, or my small-town upbringing held me back. It was the richness of the stories being told of settling growing up. The majority were people doing what I had done, giving up. I felt like I had missed out on the guide to Iowa right. I should be happy. I should be content, but it didn’t mean I was. As I continue telling this story so many Iowans have quietly contacted me. I have become subject to a lot of hidden lunch and coffee dates. People talk to me like I am a mistress. That I chalk up to this idea that the common thread of Iowans is to settle for a life of fine. So when people reach out to me or comment it is usually private because disrupting the normal or accepted life of fine is alarming when you live here. I want to change that. I want to stop people from dreaming small and realistic because of how we were raised. Iowa is actually the land of opportunity we just have to get people with talent to stop leaving because the common thread is the opposite.
With that being said even with all the head work I do the fear creeps in. This isn’t regular fear and I refuse to just end with rah! rah! we are all in this together I have fear too message. I will explain what that looks like for me right now.
For awhile I have been living in this bubble. I am happy here. It is comfortable. I am challenged but not pushing. I am sitting here in this moment wondering why? The fear is sitting in the unknown. What I know right now is that more people are listening to my work = win. What I do not know is if that is a good number of people aka important enough number of people and reviews to be valued somewhere. Fear of finding out has been holding me still. The next fear moment lies here. I am writing a book. This book is basically done. I have to pitch said book and like the podcast I will find out if I am good enough. If I am not good enough will have the strength to keep going for no? Part of me wants to just stay in fear forever never knowing. Most parts of me today were convincing me to go back to a regular job and give this up. I wish that I could say I was fearless but I am not (no one is). I have done so much and I am now wondering if my mind has climbed too many mountains. Maybe it is only conditioned for so much. Maybe I have maxed it out.
This isn’t a problem in the grand scheme of problems in this world but for me this is earth shattering. I have to move to this new place. I have to push past the fear for now I am sitting stagnant and I need to move soon. I don’t know what will push me but I hope this allows you to see that sometimes nothing is enough. I have to enlist all the resources. More often then not it is calling in the back up to the back up. Because there are just days, weeks, months and years when the fear seems too loaded to overcome and move past. I am sitting here with myself and if you are here too welcome. I hope we move past this.