Last year my word came to me “easily.” My word was Intention. The past year I made whole, intentional decisions based on what I was feeling for the first time since I was a child. It was a year of nursing that innate ability back to health.
Part of that nursing looked like opening up spiritually. So true to my path as of late I asked the higher powers at play for guidance on my word for 2021. I said show it to me. I know you can. As I lay there meditating I am brought to a place where my dreams are happening right in front of me. Playing out as if everything had happened and I had “arrived.” When I came out of my meditation I was like, ” really? I didn’t ask for my dreams I asked for a word.”
The next day I set my intention to ask once again for my word. I transcend into my meditative state and I am warmly welcomed walking through the highlight reel of all of my dreams coming true. I come to again and once again am disappointed. I say, “come on I am asking for a word.” I look around as if I am not connecting right. I am pretty new to this so I assume I am not doing it right. So I start searching the world for the words.
This morning I skip meditating. I say to myself my ask is being misunderstood. I must not understand this spirituality thing yet… I keep searching for the word. I look everywhere. I bounce around words like abundance, believe, accept, create, trust and almost settle on expansion but none of them feel quite right. I keep checking different outlets for the word to find me. Nothing. Trust and believe are close but too superficial to ring true.
Close but not quite it.
I wrap my podcast speaking about the idea of believing without exception. I start to realize that every attempt at my dream life rang out with a common disclaimer protecting me from the full acceptance that I deserve the life I dream of. I realize for the first time that mentally I was not putting receiving energy into anything outside of my reach and that energy was returned in full. At that point I sit back and realize what I was being promised. I didn’t need to be given a word. I was given proof and permission to give credence to the life I want.
I have fought every single day to get to this place. This place where everything is possible. Telling myself that and truly believing it are far from close. Mentally this has been the hardest submission.
Credence – mental acceptance as true or real